Day 52 : Yawn! ❤❤❤ 05/03/2017

5 am???? Seriously 5 am! My body clock has to be kidding me!

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It wasn’t even a turn over and go back to sleep awakening. No, it was a get up and get stuff done alarm and the worst part was my brain agreed with my body. They were. for once, in sync at 5 am.

5 am on a Sunday!!!!!

Nothing for it but to get up, have a shower and find something to do quietly. I pulled out my to do list and by 7 am, I had started to build a new blog site, answered 13 emails, sorted and composed 10 Twitter templates and washed the dishes! I think I had breakfast to! Next walk time, 45 minutes thinks I, in the chilly sunshine. An hour and a half later, I am back at my flat!

Have I been bewitched?

Was there something in the gin I had yesterday?

Or is this a rebellion by my inner, ahem, athlete?

When we have that sudden sleep disturbance it knocks us for six, but for me when I wake up that early at the weekend with no alarm, no what did I forget to do, no can I smell smoke type fears, it feels really really odd. Isn’t it weird how we can’t accept that we are awake and ready to start the day. Instead we either try desperately to go back to the land of nod or spend the next two hours feeling our arms go numb as we check our phones, emails and messages. My theory is, that this is another part of the change I am going through. Hopefully it is having more energy so I might not need as much sleep as I used to. Whatever it is, guess I better get used to it.

Accept! Cope! Change! Challenge! Next week is going to be awesome!

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Day 30 Chilling ❤❤❤

I have to admit that this morning I am shattered. A very busy and challenging week caught up with me and I had to cancel a few things today. I deliberately had a slow morning with a little bit longer in my meditation time. My walk took me round the Botanic Gardens minus my FitBit. The crocus and snowdrops are peeping up everywhere, it is so nice to see that wee bit of colour.


I admit to a nap when I got back and then dealt with all the stuff I had been avoiding on my TO DO list. 

Determination to get the job done! 

Sunday is going to be a challenging day as I have a lot to do plus fit in my walk. Think I need another nap


Onwards 

G

Day 27 Plotting and Challenge ❤❤❤

Up with the very sleepy lark this morning, places to go and people to see. I did treat myself to breakfast at my favourite coffee shop, Gordon Street Coffee. Their Glasgow Roast is just the fuel to get you going. I love sitting in here, especially this morning as the coffee bean roaster was on.


Job done in the City Centre then in for my next coffee at Western Health and Racquets Club’s Members Bar. 


With all this caffeine time to channel into a workout and boy did I push myself. 

Check the Day 27 post on my Facebook page

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Tomorrow, more coffee powered activity and if nothing gets in the way, a workout with GymGuyMark

G

Day 14 : Spinning Time ❤❤❤

Finally today I went for an introduction to Spinning with Michael at Boiler Room Fitness, This dedicated spin studio is based at the Western Health and Racquets Club and caters for all levels and stages of Spinning abilities. I had had a bit of a frantic morning before I even got on the bike so as you can imagine calm, I was not! (Mobile died, three PPI calls within 20 minutes, the lace broke on my trainers and my alarm didn’t go off) 


The first thing Michael asked me was what did I want to get out of today’s session, and my aim was simply to try something new, challenge myself and to prove that if I can do it anyone can. Michael went through how to set up the bike and made sure that I felt comfortable on it. He did a basic intro to the gears and how a class works, but what I didn’t realise was that while he was talking me through all this I was already pedalling. Crafty!!!!! 

So off we went and if I ever thought that my legs moaned during PT with GymGuyMark they sure as hell screamed at the top of their voice with SpinGuyMichael!!!!! To be honest it is difficult to describe how I felt, my lungs and legs were pushed to their limit, the sweat was pouring off me but weirdly it felt good. The routine was a mixture of sitting and standing whilst pedalling and using the beat of the music to drive your speed. Michael, with just a bit of guidance, left me to work the tension and once I got my level I found myself really starting to challenge the battle of mental over physical. Once I stopped thinking about what I was doing and started listening to the music, I found driving myself less challenging. Michael switched tunes and during the “chorus” got me to stand and try to push myself not to sit back down. The old legs went wobbly and the old knees started to refuse to hold my weight but for a first go, apparently I did not too bad. 

Check the short video on my Facebook page for the dripping, red faced me!!!!

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We are going to be doing two more sessions because Michael explained that the second is crucial and by the third you should really find your level. So Monday will see me back in the saddle again

G

The Return!

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Tomorrow is back to work day! After an amazing break, it is time to shift focus and balance out life. 2016 looks to be one that will be filled with passion, opportunity, personal growth and one almighty challenge in getting this poor old  neglected body back into shape.

The spark has been lit and the revolution continues!

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G x

2015: the year I revolted!

When you read all the health advice for someone of my age, it is all cut down on stress, watch what you eat, don’t drink to excess and exercise. I realised the other day that in 2015 I revolted against most of this. I think I saw the inside of the gym only a handful of times, healthy eating; eh no, and stress, well lets just say at times it was off the radar. So I guess that makes me a lifestyle revolutionary, waving the flag for all the wrong reasons but if you were to questions my principles, I can give you a damn good excuse for each and every time!

I wonder if this revolutionary spirit in me is a mid life crisis! It is like the driver who knows it should be the sensible Ford but that sporty little roadster yells Vive La Revolution! If it is not the old oh my God I am in my fifties crisis, is it just sheer laziness? Was it that in 2015 I could just not be bothered and my hormones, agreeing with this theory, shut down and let me do whatever the hell I wanted. Or perhaps it was because I realised that there were other things in my life that needed a barrier built in order for me to be able to cope, and that when the time comes for it to fall all these other non revolutionary ideas will come into play. In 2015 I had to cope with making huge changes in my life, they were long overdue and ranged from professional to personal to financial. Change can be exhausting, emotionally and mentally so perhaps the physical side of things had to put on the back burner till my head had cleared and I could see my revolutionary vision clearly.

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So 2016? Do I wave the flag high and continue of my policies of eating chocolate and hitting the gin bottle to revolutionary excess? Well perhaps my principles need to be refined? A little bit of give and take maybe in order with a continuance of Vive La Revolution but with much more “protesting” in the fresh air, lifting weights and getting the Gin or Gym balance right. It takes great strength in your arms to fly a flag high, so once the steak pie, peas and tatties are all done on New Years Day, the 2016 revolution continues. None of this New Year new start thing, that is total BS and never works, as I said I started revolting in 2015 and I plan to continue in 2016 with slight changes to the propaganda!

Just one further issue to resolve, what is the well dressed revolting 50 year old wearing these days?

Happy New Year all

Geraldine x

 

 

 

Change! Part 1

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Change! A word that scares many of us to heck and back!

Why?

Is it because we like being comfortable in an environment that is familiar or is it because we don’t like new faces? Perhaps the reason is that even if it is dangerous, we know what to expect from wherever we have lain our hat! Whatever the excuse, I mean reason, a lot of us just will not change what we perceive to be security. Very often it takes drastic action on the part of karma/Jesus/Universe (delete as appropriate) to make us shift our butts and make it happen or accept that Mr Inevitability is calling. I have struggled to cope with change in the past and it has lead to huge anxiety issues, however one Friday in July I took the matter into my own hands, put on my big girl pants and made it happen. I made change happen and I did it without a safety net!

Why?

It was time, after 12 years of working in the same environment for a large company with good benefits, I jumped out of the plane. There are lots of reasons why, many too personal, but lets just say my universes all collided and karma put my brain into the right place to cope. I had no job to go to, was facing the possibility of having to give up a lot and move flat but when I sat down and weighed it all up, I realised that the tiny list of pros, for leaving, was far greater than the huge list of cons, for staying. At the tender age of 52 it was time to dip my toe into the pool of the job hunter, but the big question was do I stay in my financial services comfort zone and stay in the shallow end or do I climb to the top board and jump off into the unknown?

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The next few days were difficult and at times stressful but I had this overwhelming feeling that I had done the right thing. And when people started remarking on the fact that I was grinning like a cheshire cat constantly, I gave myself a huge pat on the back.

Why?

Because I had known for a long time that things needed to change and finally I found the courage to make it happen!

Part 2 to come

Promises, Promises … Oops I did it again!


I finally kept a self promise I made to myself  months ago!  It was during a time of huge stress when I made the deal. I told myself that if I did one thing I could have a fish supper and a glass of wine while I sorted things out. Guess what? I did a half arsed job and gave up to watch some crap TV and zone out with the rest of the wine. I beat myself up for days about this and watched as an opportunity skipped by me.

So what changed ? Why did I suddenly decide a few months later to finish the job? Another bottle of wine? Another fish supper?

Actually it is much simpler than that, all it took was someone sending me a text that said “well I believe in you, read this and remember it” 

So I have thought, believed, dreamt and finally dared! Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can start again, cliche I know but in this case so true.

Apologies dear readers but I broke the promise at the start of this Blog series to keep a promise and it feels good!

Promises, Promises … The Team

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You know those days where nothing seems to go right? The bus is late, you realise you forgot to switch off the iron/hair straighteners/coffee machine and then you finally sit down at your desk and there they are, one blue shoe and one brown. You sit back in your seat, close your eyes for a second and wish you would had a team of housekeepers and stylists to manage your every move. Days like these happen all the time, little things don’t go right and they can add extra stress, so what do you do? You promise yourself to be more organised, to set the alarm ten minutes early and have the right bus fare ready. Then what happens, the alarm goes off, you look out the window at the rain and decide on ten minutes more and immediately break your promise to yourself.

It is human nature I guess to keep with the “I will do better tomorrow” mantra but as I have said before, that can be the very mantra that brings us down because all too often, we slip back into the same old routine and break that vital promise that kept us going through a tough day. We start moaning and groaning to ourselves and then ultimately to the poor friend who just happens to call you as you drag your weary self home. There is nothing like a call that is as we say in Glasgow “a pure moan” a chance to whinge to a mate who knows you well and is probably not really listening because they know you just need to sound off. It is the same as the catch up coffee after work, you get an email from a friend during the day and you can tell that he/she is having a bad time. You meet for coffee and a humongous piece of chocolate cake and suddenly the day calms down and you may put on a pound but you do lose the stress.

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I had a very interesting chat the other day about the kind of people we surround ourselves with, whether consciously or unconsciously. There are people like doctors, lawyers, bank managers who we often don’t get a choice in who we speak to but then there is the other team, the ones that it is second nature to go to for help, a chat or a good old cry! This is the team we reach out to naturally or instinctively because we know they will be there. Even if it is just a smiley face text reply, it automatically means something to us and can instantly change a day of broken self promises. These are the people that we know what we give to them we will get back in return without question, the ones we need in times of turmoil or if we have to make a huge decision. This team are the ones who will play devils advocate or point out the blinking obvious to you . In other words people we trust, often more than we trust ourselves

I am very lucky I have a strong team around me, their cheer-leading pompoms get a good old shake when they know I need that extra support or advice but they are also there to grab me by the ankles and pull me back to earth when I get above myself. Most of them don’t know they do this, they are just there!

So I am well into week 1 of not making any promises to myself and it is starting to work. Living each day as it comes is tough especially when your anxious self wants to promote negative thinking. It only takes one wee text that shows a bit of faith, one shared cup of coffee and a scone, one offer of practical advice and one potential opportunity that makes you believe you are enough and you don’t need to self promise, you just need to live and grow.

The M Word : the honest Blog!

This is the only Blog where I will use the word menopause, I decided to write this as honestly as I can for two reasons. One, to sort my head out and accept what is going on, and two to try to find the balance again.

Wikepedia defines it as …

Menopause is the cessation of a woman’s reproductive ability, the opposite of menarche. Menopause is usually a natural change; it typically occurs in women in midlife, during their late 40s or early 50s, signaling the end of the fertile phase of a woman’s life.

The Mao Clinic says

Menopause is the permanent end of menstruation and fertility, defined as occurring 12 months after your last menstrual period. Menopause can happen in your 40s or 50s, but the average age is 51 in the United States. Menopause is a natural biological process. Although it ends fertility, you can stay healthy, vital and sexual. Some women feel relieved because they no longer need to worry about pregnancy

So many definitions talk about it as the end, the ”stopping”, the cessation, they make it sound like that is it! I guess the tone is in the eye of the reader, whether you see it as a cold hard definition or the experts giving you advice. Whatever it is, I hate the word menopause much like I hate any medical term. Why? Because in the eye of this reader, it defines me, it tells me how I should feel, what is happening to me and what will happen to me. There are tips and hints all over the place advising you what to eat, what to ask your GP, what to avoid and how to cope with hot flushes but the one thing no one can tell you is when these things happen that it will try to shut you down.

So what is happening with me? Well, I am struggling with several things. The hormone rush, when the silliest advert or situation  makes me cry, the sheer frustration at my inability to make a decision between one brand of coffee and another leading to me dumping a full basket and walking out of the deli, the fact that I am craving chips, lemon curd and coffee constantly but perhaps the biggest one is the body image thing is back. I looked at myself in the mirror the other morning and started to cry. I could not see the 50-year-old woman who has achieved so much to be able to lift a 16kg kettlebell over her head, all I could see was a washed out middle-aged female with spotty skin, dripping in sweat and wearing clothes that do not fit her. I felt and looked total crap and there was zero motivation to change it so the only thing to do was to crawl back into bed and have a lazy day doing nothing but escape into the world of telly. There is no anxiety, no worry just nothing with no desire to face the world and change. How do I dig myself out of this? At the moment I have no idea, I am reading all the information I can gather, focusing on the understanding of the whole M word situation and I will be talking it out with the right people but perhaps the one thing I am missing is how to live with it. How do I learn to cope with ”hide under the duvet” feeling? The ”wear the baggy jumper and hoodie days”? The ”I want to listen to loud rock, light candles and sit in my room sulking” evenings? In other words, how do I cope with being a teenager again but with my body going on reverse?

So many questions, so for the answer I asked a teenager. She handed me a postcard someone had given her a while ago, it was not dissimilar to the below, the message was very much the same.

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I said to her that my problem was ”how I feel about myself” and she said to me in her fifteen year old wisdom ” you remember that skateboard picture you sent me of the boy at the top of the hill? Well it is kinda like that, do you kick up the board and go home to watch telly or do you skate right down that hill not knowing if you will end up in the water”

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I said I didn’t get her point and yet again in that stating the bleeding obvious manner that young people often have, she sighed, put down her mobile and said ”I have spots, you have spots. I have mood swings, you have mood swings. I am on a skate board at the top of a hill and so are you, live with it”. She went back to Candy Crush! In other words sometimes we don’t get a choice in life, we have to get on that skateboard and hurtle down that hill whether we like it or not. The adrenalin rush will scare or excite, there will be tears and tantrums when a wheel falls off now and again and scrapes, bruises and cuts will happen because I am choosing to do this without a helmet or knee pads. Being a teenager pure sucks man but dude, as I have said before, if I can get through this and find the balance I have worked hard to achieve then perhaps the M word is not an end as defined, but it is a beginning?

Like many an ageing teenager before me I still have loads of questions and lots to cope with but, as I said in my last Blog, finding the right people with the right knowledge is key, and the putting into practice what I have learned even more so. No one can do this or get through this for me so perhaps the key member of Team #GinorGym is me and that woman in the mirror. Back to square one?  Perhaps but that water at the bottom of the hill looks so tempting, especially when you are in the middle of a hot flash!

Gx

There will be no more Blogs with the men***se word in them. It is the M word from now on in!