You know those days where nothing seems to go right? The bus is late, you realise you forgot to switch off the iron/hair straighteners/coffee machine and then you finally sit down at your desk and there they are, one blue shoe and one brown. You sit back in your seat, close your eyes for a second and wish you would had a team of housekeepers and stylists to manage your every move. Days like these happen all the time, little things don’t go right and they can add extra stress, so what do you do? You promise yourself to be more organised, to set the alarm ten minutes early and have the right bus fare ready. Then what happens, the alarm goes off, you look out the window at the rain and decide on ten minutes more and immediately break your promise to yourself.
It is human nature I guess to keep with the “I will do better tomorrow” mantra but as I have said before, that can be the very mantra that brings us down because all too often, we slip back into the same old routine and break that vital promise that kept us going through a tough day. We start moaning and groaning to ourselves and then ultimately to the poor friend who just happens to call you as you drag your weary self home. There is nothing like a call that is as we say in Glasgow “a pure moan” a chance to whinge to a mate who knows you well and is probably not really listening because they know you just need to sound off. It is the same as the catch up coffee after work, you get an email from a friend during the day and you can tell that he/she is having a bad time. You meet for coffee and a humongous piece of chocolate cake and suddenly the day calms down and you may put on a pound but you do lose the stress.
I had a very interesting chat the other day about the kind of people we surround ourselves with, whether consciously or unconsciously. There are people like doctors, lawyers, bank managers who we often don’t get a choice in who we speak to but then there is the other team, the ones that it is second nature to go to for help, a chat or a good old cry! This is the team we reach out to naturally or instinctively because we know they will be there. Even if it is just a smiley face text reply, it automatically means something to us and can instantly change a day of broken self promises. These are the people that we know what we give to them we will get back in return without question, the ones we need in times of turmoil or if we have to make a huge decision. This team are the ones who will play devils advocate or point out the blinking obvious to you . In other words people we trust, often more than we trust ourselves
I am very lucky I have a strong team around me, their cheer-leading pompoms get a good old shake when they know I need that extra support or advice but they are also there to grab me by the ankles and pull me back to earth when I get above myself. Most of them don’t know they do this, they are just there!
So I am well into week 1 of not making any promises to myself and it is starting to work. Living each day as it comes is tough especially when your anxious self wants to promote negative thinking. It only takes one wee text that shows a bit of faith, one shared cup of coffee and a scone, one offer of practical advice and one potential opportunity that makes you believe you are enough and you don’t need to self promise, you just need to live and grow.