Yet again I have a song stuck in my head and it won’t shift. For those of you who remember the Three Degrees song Giving Up Giving In, it is going round and round in my brain so much that I eventually had to download the damn thing and read the lyrics. The song is about a woman who has decided she has had enough and is giving up on her man. It is by no means anything other than a 1978 mid chart topper but like any catchy pop tune two of the lines in it kind of stand out for me
“You can go sweet talk to the wind”
What an excellent put down, especially said with attitude, girlfriend! It shall be stored in the memory bank for use at an appropriate moment.
“My blind hate has got eyes again”
But it is this line that kind of made me think, daft I know, it is a silly line from a mediocre song but how much of our emotions does cloud our vision? When we hit that rage and can’t see past it, how often do we say, or do, things in anger we might regret later? And not just in anger, when we get into a right childish huff, how often do we make snide remarks or ‘not talk’ to someone because we can’t see past the moment? I bet there are a few guilty faces reading this right now. Let’s face it, when anything happens that upsets us, even the most grown up of adults can sulk big time; we regress back to the playground, gather our gang round us and don’t share our Pickled Onion Monster Munch. I guess it takes an incredibly strong personality not to and to keep a clear sight of the situation.
The same can also be said of emotion clouding our abilities to cope. On Wednesday night, GymGuyMark and I went out for a power walk, no not Gardner Street this time but Cleveden Road, all the way up to the top, down that short but very steep hill, then back up again. We did it twice! The first time was bad enough but the second time, half way up I honestly thought I was going to faint, complete weakness overtook my entire self, the legs started to go and my breath ran out completely. I could feel the emotion rising but as quickly as it started it went away. Instead of looking down at the challenge ahead of me I lifted my head looked up and kept walking. No idea why that cleared the fog and the ‘can’t do this’ but it did. I think the GymGuyMark’s keep going attitude helped, either that or that this determination thing is really kicking in.
Unfortunately sometimes we cannot see past that cloud and it takes over our lives, whether it drives us into depression or illness, we can beat ourselves up because we feel we have failed. It is important to remember that we do not have to battle that cloud by ourselves, there is always someone somewhere at the top of the hill for us to reach out to, whether a chat over coffee, a few drinks or a walk in the park, never be too proud to ask for help. You might find it in the most unexpected of places.
There is a Carole King song that was a favourite of a friend of mine, the song is from the film Murphy’s Romance, it is called Running Lonely but read the lyrics, it starts lonely and ends up hopeful. Enjoy x
Down the road one more time
Running free, it’s hard running lonely
Left another place, gone and left the keys
All the memories
Are locked away now
Put away now
I don’t understand what went wrong
I just want to stop running lonely
Ah–running hard is lonely
Ah–freedom has its cost
Ah–did I do the right thing
Too late now, oh, but I feel so lost
Breath of life is hot upon my cheek
So close I can hardly speak
Darkness clouds my vision now, of all I knew before
But I can hear the roar of something more
Just ahead of me, out of reach
Promising an end to running lonely
Maybe this time I can make it
Maybe I’m coming home
Maybe I can stop my running
No more running hard, no more running away
No more running lonely
Gin or Gym 