Today was a tough day, I only had a half day at work but after an early start and a busy morning I was feeling a wee bit tired and slightly emotional. A few months ago some friends of mine very sadly lost their much longed for baby after only a few short hours of life. Their sadness and sense of loss was overwhelming, so much so that they couldn’t face anyone for months. However today, we had a wee memorial service for a life that should have been. I admit that I was dreading it; I had been asked to say a few words, as I am the wee one’s godmother, but was at a complete blank on what to do. The weird thing was I kept thinking of the Winnie the Pooh quote:
“When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.”
So starting off with that, and aside about Partick Honey, suddenly the lost words tumbled out into the open and for some reason I had everyone laughing and smiling. I wanted to try not to dwell on the sadness but on the respect for a life that should have been, a life that her Mum and Dad have learned to cope without, mainly because they have realised that no matter who you are, how much you earn or where you go, pain is pain and the silly things in life fade into insignificance. I ended my wee contribution with another of my favourite quotes; I think it was Rabbit who said …
“You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.”
I didn’t hang around afterwards; I had booked a session at the Gym deliberately as I knew it would take my mind off things. There is something in the familiar every day routine that seems to bring life back into perspective, life goes on; Tuesday will always be spelt Tuesday. It was a gorgeous sunny day, good to see folks out on the tennis courts and GymGuyMark busy gabbing on the bench, with a cuppa in his hand. Works hard that boy! (That remark will cost me)
So off inside and onto the running machine, testing out the new trainers, which are lighter and feet are feeling good in them. Short, good pace walk then upstairs for some weights but not before I wound GymGuyMark up about not having his pic on Twitter yet. Mind you, if he did it might make Russell Crowe jealous. (That makes up for the doesn’t work hard jibe) Admission time people, I did cheat slightly today; GymGuyMark told me to get sixes (weights) but with no glasses on I lifted fives and got away with it. 1 nil to me for a change! I like lifting weights, it feels like a quick win, if that makes sense. You can really feel it working, but, no guns yet, more teeny tiny pistols with wings! Next what I call the elephant pull because that’s what it feels like you are trying to haul up in the air, and then onto a machine that quite frankly should be in the care of a gynaecologist. I shall say nothing further other than my inner thighs are aching and I feel like I have been on a pony trek. Next machine was the sitty down haul weights from behind you one. I warned GymGuyMark not to make me laugh this time because if you let go of these weights at the wrong time you could take an eye out, or if your Gym Instructor is standing behind you, turn him into a soprano, and I don’t mean Tony! So what did he do, of course, two pulls in, made me laugh! Git! Sit ups on floor time, getting better at these and today’s topic in between ‘give me ten more’ was books and the whether Will Smith was right for the part of Robert Neville in I am Legend. Then onto to the bike for some ‘cardio’, I believe we call it, and left on my own to pedal up hill and down dale.
Now by this time, I was starting to get really tired, I think the day had caught up with me but focussing on the numbers on the screen and trying to keep my pedalling rate up, kept me in the zone and stopped me from giving in. That done, I thought I was finished but apparently GymGuyMark had other ideas. A ten minute fastish walk on the machine and ‘every minute touch the incline button up one till it gets to 6’, says the man with no photo. Left to my own devices, I genuinely did give it my best shot but at a 6.5 pace and an incline of 3.5, the legs had had enough. I did the ten minutes but knew inside myself that the day was smacking me in the face and it was time to stop. Good thing I was sweating as emotion was also slightly overcoming me.
After a see you on Monday to GymGuyMark, it was a long walk through the sunny West End to pick up a parcel followed by take-out coffee and one chocolate as a reward. I may not have got the incline up to 6 as requested but “… there are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count”. Onwards !
Link to the Blog I wrote at the time