The Thursday Ouch and Russell Crowe!

Today was Monday on a Thursday ! Before the dawn had hit 6.30am, I had broken a bottle of my favourite Gardenia perfume (sorry Jo Malone), managed to burn out my iron and then could not get my hair to straighten. And to top it all I realised when I got on the bus that I had left my gym bag at home. Again!

So after a mad mad day at work, it was an even madder dash home, thanks to Glasgow Taxi’s, to get changed and make it down to the Western Lawn Tennis and Squash Club Gym for 6pm. But make it I did, with a rotten head cold and totally stressed out, but I was there for my third session with GymGuyMark aka Russell Crowe (more on that later).

Tonight’s session started off as usual on the running machine and I actually pressed the buttons myself, under GymGuyMark’s watchful eye but oh yes, I am taking charge,getting with the programme and driving myself (NOT!!!). So a quick walk then a stretch and onto the wonderful machine that is the cross trainer. How disappointed was I when GymGuyMark put me on a machine that the arm bits didn’t work on!  Such a huge shame said Pinocchio ! I really struggled tonight, the old legs were not happy at all, but when GymGuyMark said I only had one minute to go, I stopped listening to my brain telling me I was tired and started ‘listening’ to my body. I did manage to do the full 5 minutes or however many hours it was and felt ok. Then back onto the running machine followed by a quick cycle. Now this bike thing is a sneaky little devil. I was cycling along quite nicely when it decided to take me up the side of Ben Nevis, the steep route, that is, with no viewpoints to stop at and have a cup of tea. Once you get to the top it is still tough going down the other side, but hey, I have climbed Croy Hill, Ben Nevis is nothing! She lied! Then it was back onto the running machine for one more go.

Now it is at this point that I should mention that throughout all of this GymGuyMark and I chat constantly. Subjects tonight ranged from Paris to football, waving at strangers in Bars to lookalikes. Apparently someone once told GymGuyMark he looked a bit like Russell Crowe, we decided it must have been Gladiator and not that other one where Crowe is all fat and ugly. I, of course am the image of Cindy Crawford. Ahem ! It was also when we were chatting that GymGuyMark asked me if I had back problems. I don’t but he had noticed that I hunched my shoulders and didn’t stand up straight. And as I am beginning to discover, this usually means that he has an exercise in mind.  Grrrrrrrr … fell into the trap again !

So up the stairs, we went to the weight room, and as is his want, like the lie down on that mat on Monday, he asked me to sit down on the window ledge.  Hah, thinks I, you are not getting me with this again, no lulling me into a false sense of security with a wee sit down and a mines a G and T thanks rest. Oh no ! It was time to sort out the bingo wings or in my case, more of a Gala Casino with a full house, eyes down for the jackpot going on in my arms. So hands on the window ledge feet forward, all I had to do was to lift my bum up then lower it down, bending my elbows. Dear readers, yes I know I am overweight but, oh my goodness, I did not realise how much I weigh until the full force of me, rested on those arms. The lowering down was bad enough but the lifting back up, get me a hoist please !  Not good, and I think part of the reason I really struggled with this was realising how heavy I felt.  Next onto some weights, possibly a dangerous thing to give a woman on the edge of painful bingo wings heavy objects but he is a trusting soul. Then down on the floor to annoy the tummy muscles again, minus ball tonight.

Finally the posture exercise and I have to say this was really useful. GymGuyMark told  to me sit on the floor, legs out straight, then you dig in your heels and walk your bum back till you can go no further. trust me, sounds daft but it works. Then sit up straight and hold your posture. After 30 seconds the muscles in my leg were wobbling and I could really feel it in my stomach and sides, how amazing that a simple change of posture can actually almost be a work out in itself.

So dear friends, yes tonight was tough. ‘Russell Crowe’ is giving me more to do every session and even exercises to do at home, and grudgingly, it feels ok. Yes, I am still going to be a moaning old whinge gym bunny cause I would rather be at home with cake and a G and T but needs must so on we go and ….

Look what I came home with …

Time to sign away my bingo wings  …



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