Where do you start to write a Blog about some of the most emotional days of your life?
How do you capture the feelings, the generosity, the spirit, the atmosphere and the support of family and friends?
Just how do I do it all justice? It is just like when I had to think what I would have to say on the night of my party, you worry that you will offend someone by leaving them out or not mentioning people by name but then you have your third gin and forget the whole damn thing.
So I have decided not to document it all day by day but instead to take this opportunity to reflect. The preparation for this birthday started over 18 months ago when I joined the Western Health and Racquets Club gym, my goal was to look fabulous on my 50th birthday and the hard slog to get there has not been easy. The actual preparations for my party were all down to my wonderful family and for someone who can usually sniff out a surprise at ten paces; it was very hard not to know what was going on. Then when the rsvp’s started coming in from the invites, it actually started to dawn on me that I was going to be the centre of attention. I don’t mind being the gobby one who ‘presents’ or makes speeches but when it is about me???? Whole other ball game my friends. Not only that but when the photo word started happening, I started to check the internet for just how bad bottox actually was!
Having worked my tired ass off at the gym in the days before my birthday, going out for cocktails and a burger and eating cake at work, the whole week got off to an amazing start. Then my friends started to arrive for all over the country, flying in for one night, driving all the way from darn sarf just to be here to help me celebrate really started to shake me. What is it that makes people do this? I am the sometimes brutally honest, ballsy Glaswegian with the sarcastic wit so why are all these good people making such an effort to there. And therein lies the answer, they are good people. So under orders it is time to blow my own trumpet and let you know what some of them said …
“Why am I here? You gave me a piece of advice years ago Geraldine, you will never know what that did for me, I had to be here to say thank you”
“I have followed the ‘perspiring blog’ every step of the way and wanted to make sure you realised what you had achieved, you look f***ing amazing babe”
“I don’t know anyone as honest about their ‘mental health issues’ I wanted to be here to support you”
“Why wouldn’t we travel all this way to see you and help you celebrate, you daft cow? Don’t ask stupid questions”
“I am proud to call you my friend”
“It is World Gin Day, where else would I be ya bawbag!”
“Ach shut up, you daft tart and get that gin down you, love you”
“Aye aye aye, yeh I love you and you love me so stop attention seeking and drink yer gin”
These are just some of the wonderful (!!!!!) things my guests were kind enough to say when I met them at the door on the night of the party. The atmosphere created by my family with the wonderful room decorations was just stunning and so welcoming. Not only having my aunts, uncles, cousins and their partners, but also so many of you that I am privileged to call my friends arrive in time to see my Dad and I kick the night off with our first dance to a Jim Reeves song, to hear my garbled speech and my talented wee bro James’s sing a song about me and see me while I still looked elegant and hadn’t consumed a full bottle of Prosecco and many many gins, but please remember I did have two pakora and a handful of jellybeans!
At this point I must again apologise for starting off my speech with the f word but when I stood at that mic, looked round the room and saw all the faces turned my way, faces that have helped me through some dark times, faces that have encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone, faces that have been with me for many years, faces who have held my hand and assured me it would get better or faces that with just a smile or a wink told me that I looked as good as I felt. It just made me crumble. It was however good to be able to recognise the support I received particularly back in January this year.
So without going on and on, I want to end this blog with the words, knicked from The Golden Girls that I used to close my speech
Thank you for being my friends
We have travelled down some roads and back again
Our hearts have always been true, we have been pals and confidantes
Now we have thrown this party and invited everyone one of you
You will see the biggest gift is from me and that gift is simply a THANK YOU!
G x
The Song sung by my wee brother and co written by his partner Nalini
The Five Zero Queen(A song for Geraldine)
To the tune of Shang a lang by The Bay City Rollers
Born in ’63, happy and carefree
A simpler time when only Dad was bald
Through the 70’s, you overcame with ease
Growing up in a boring dump like Cumbernauld!
And the music, you had crap taste in music
Oh the music, seems like you played it every night and day (Hey Hey)
Chorus
So here’s to you Geraldine, you’re the five zero Queen
Singing doo-wop-a-doobie-doo-ah
From a blue shell suit to £300 boots
And a haircut worth more than Mag’s car
Sing along with this song, Ger is fifty years young
Singing doo-wop-a-doobie-doo-ah
Raise a glass, raise a cheer for the event of the year
Ger’s turning fifty tonight
….
And now the years have flown, and jings how we’ve all grown
It hasn’t always been an easy ride
But you’ve turned out swell, just don;t get above yourself
Living in your swanky pad in Kelvinside
And we love you; Oh, aye Ger we love you
I’m not going to sing that a third time
‘Cos I am your brother and it just sounds weird
Chorus
So here’s to you Geraldine, you’re the five zero Queen
Singing doo-wop-a-doobie-doo-ah
You’re top of the pops you know all the best shops
You’re a Gin or Gym blog writing star
Sing along with this song, Ger is fifty years young
Singing doo-wop-a-doobie-doo-ah
Raise a glass, raise a cheer for the event of the year
Ger’s turning fifty tonight
…
Audience participation bit
Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine …
Chorus
So here’s to you Geraldine, you’re the five zero Queen
Singing doo-wop-a-doobie-doo-ah
You’re smashing your super, who needs Bradley Cooper
When you have Facebook and millions of pals
Sing along with this song, Ger is fifty years young
Singing doo-wop-a-doobie-doo-ah
Raise a glass, raise a cheer for the event of the year
Ger’s turning fifty tonight
Gin or Gym 
Fantastic round up of the evening… and ACE to have the words to “your song”!
I’d just like to say, as well as having a brilliant evening (haven’t danced so much in ages) it was an absolute pleasure to meet your family and put faces to the names I’ve heard so often. You are rightly proud of them.. and they are bloomin’ proud as punch of you!
I’ll also echo your words – “Thank YOU for being a Friend!” AT xxx
Thank you Kells
Oh my – that brought a lump to my throat – Your brother is talented, your friends are special and you must inspire that in them – The only thing missung fro this wonderful post is the photographs… We wanted to see the results of all that labour – and what you wore of course xx
Me and photos are not the best of friends but since you asked so nicely
Looking great! Thanks for sharing! Many happy returns!!!
This post filled me with love – thank you for that!
Thanks, that was a while ago now. Coping with 51 and a half now … oh joy